Category: the Rant Board
Step 1: PULL UP YOUR PANTS!
Step 2: Stop posting nigganigganigganigganigga on Facebook.
Step 3: Get a fuckin job and quit bein' such a wellfare weenie! Loitering on the street corner isn't 'cool' or 'classy'.
Step 4: Stop puckering out your ass to make it look big, and pooching out your lips to make them look big ... You don't see black suck in their lips and ass to try and look white, do ya?
Step 5: Not every social occasion needs you to spontaneously rap a lyric that inevitably ends in you mumbling whatever, when you get lost or when you realize nobody's listening.
Step 6: The hood isn't cool. If it was, why are all the black people either leaving it, or trying to clean it up and develop it?
Step 7: Get your ass to class! If school was so uncool then why are all the black people in Africa busting their hump just to get a chance to get in?
Step 8: This is the reeducation part where you will no longer wish you were black, crave to be black, and otherwise look pathetic to black and white alike: Not every fuckin thing was first invented in Africa. Sushi did not fuckin come from Africa, OK?
Step 9: Most black people don't talk with that high, falsetto and over-the-top gangsta accent ... and neither should you. Part of your recovery from wiggerhood is realizing it was a fake of a fake.
Step 10: All those funny imitation black dance moves? People weren't laughing with you, they were laughing at you.
Step 11: McDonald's is *not* fine dining and Walmart is *not* Ikea
Step 12: And this may be hard to get your head around. If blacks can't understand your ebonics you really do have a problem! Start simple, like saying ask instead of axe.
Now, if you're ready to make a change, do the following:
Stand up in front of your friends, both black and white. Pull up your pants, take off them gangsta glasses, and say the following in your normal voice: "I am no longer deluded into thinking I can make myself black. I am no longer a wigger." Now, if you don't know what deluded means, ask one of your black friends and she or he will get you a dictionary, and maybe, if you are attentive, show you how to use it.
I have one to add cause I think my cousin is doing this one.
Stop going to the tanning salon to try and look black or even mixed, getting skin cancer is not worth looking like something or someone you are not.
I swear she is so dark skinned now from tanning that she looks like a mixed racial woman rather than the white chick she really is.
Hahahaha I forgot about the fake tanning thing. I've heard about it, but being blind my whole life I don't know how real or unreal it looks.
Mostly, I've heard it's not worth it. It's expensive, you have to do it very regularly, and, well, like the second poster said, the risk of skin cancer gets pretty high after awhile. If you must tan, why not use one of those sunless tanners? Sure, you won't see results as quickly as you would in a tanning bed, but everyone I know who has ever tried using a sunless tanner says they actually work.
LOL Leo... thanks for the laugh! While this is not such a big thing in Canada, I have known some Americans who have tried this. LOL
Brilliant! My brother's a recovering wigger and so I can rather relate to this.
Thanks for this Leo. If you only knew how many of these people exist where I live...
Oh and stop saying "my bad." Hey you shit on my rug. "my bad."
All it does is make you look foolish.
I like the first post of the first step...:)
And it aint cool to use ebonics.
I don't use them. But I am guilty of saying my bad... So I'll just say I'm sorry or it was my fault.
or, how about saying nothing at all, understand accidents happen, and move on.
There's that too. Although it was pretty funny the one time I heard Judge Judy say it. "What's the expression you kids use these das? My bad."
Oh yes, and for the love of cheeze on a pizza, stop wearing a touque (beanie) in a building or in summer!
And take off that hat before I knock it off kid!